It will get better… 

God will work it out…

It’s working together for your good.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning…

Those words all sound good and are meant to bring comfort. However, when you are in the midst of the darkest time of your life, and those dark times have gone on longer than you would like for them to, words can seem a little empty. You want to believe them, but you believed them for the first half of your struggle all the while waiting for that breakthrough moment where your circumstances would change AND THEY DID NOT. As a matter of fact, things seem to be taking a turn for the worse. The harder you believed things will get better, the harder the situation got, and just when you figure the worst part is over, a new difficulty arises making you question whether it will ever end…

I know how it is because I have been there. But I can now tell you with great certainty that all of those words are indeed true. I can tell you because I am finally emerging from the darkest time of my life. Violence against my kids, financial challenges, and rejection experienced in trusted relationships all made me feel as though there was a dark cloud over my once sunny life. I wondered if I would ever get back to my former, happier self. It seemed that when I wasn’t in pain from what was done to me, I was in pain from what was done to my family. And when I was not suffering from what was done to us all, I was suffering from what I had done to myself. I can’t tell you how many times I wondered, “WILL THIS PAIN EVER END???”

However, I can gladly report that dark clouds eventually give way to blue skies. Through your pain, you learn just how much you can endure. You learn what you want in your life and what you can no long afford to tolerate. You learn that life is a tremendous gift—too precious to live on anyone’s terms but your own. You learn to dig deep and learn the lessons that adversity comes to teach you. In this season, you get fed up and decide to do something about the things that cause you pain—even when you find that you alone created some of the havoc in your life. You learn that blame, shame, and guilt are useless; and that “what now,” ‘what next,” and “how should I live in this face of this” are so much more helpful. You also learn that rain falls into every single life, but those who succeed wear rain boots and carry umbrellas, facing the rain instead of retreating. Most of all, you learn that God is for you, leading you and speaking to you in the midst of it all; working all of this pain together for your good. It will not seem good all of the time, but when you look back and see your growth–growth that comes from submitting to the process instead of resisting it, you can indeed conclude that purpose can emerge from pain.

Assuredly, after the darkest of nights, morning will come. I can’t tell you how long it takes, but it always comes. If you are like me, you would rather have the lessons some other way. However, if it takes some pain to get to this wonderful place that I have found, then I can endure the pain that life brings.

I write this today to encourage you to endure your rough season, and I pray that you learn what life is trying to teach you through your pain.

1. 

   26 Apr, 2016

   My Guest Spot on the Women in Funeral Services Blog

   http://womeninfuneralservice.com/2016/04/26/thriving-in-a-male-dominated-industry
2. 

   14 Apr, 2016

   Work Ethic

   I am not a sports fan, but I have always been a Kobe fan. My family has always wondered about my fascination with him when I hardly care for sports. What they don't understand is that the stories of his work ethic astound me. Hard work always gets my attention! They don't understand that work ethic is everything to me. My dad was a construction worker and ALWAYS did what he had to do for us. When my daughter was small and my ex was not working, my dad tried to come out of retirement and go back
3. 

   19 Mar, 2016

   The Cost of Fear

   For those of you who do not know me, that is me circled in the picture above. I know the picture is a little grainy, but I absolutely love it because it captured everything that I was feeling at our book release party. When I look at it, I see how beautiful I look. I see how happy I look. I remember how overjoyed I felt. I wrote a chapter in an anthology with 19 other authors and when we came together for the launch party on this weekend, it was nothing short of divine; I see that when I look at
4. 

   26 Jan, 2016

   Dab!

   Unsportsmanlike conduct? I get it, there are rules. But do we really want to say don’t celebrate the time of your life? Don’t have fun? Who’s really mad? You did the work, you overcame the obstacles, and now your preparation has met divine opportunity and you just want to dance, or dab a little, or even a lot! You are not the least bit worried about all of the negative forces that were against you, they thought you would never make it but you are too busy celebrating your successes to think of